Luyen

2011-10-12T12:00:00.003+08:00

Lunch date in a while, enough time to blog a little about what has been happening in my life. Been pretty occupied with studying for Mid Terms, they suck, it is really like A Levels Round 2. But it's ok, I've great people around me to last through this thing with me. Just thinking about my December holidays. It's pretty much packed, which I think I deserve it.

School Blues

2011-09-11T22:00:00.002+08:00

While waiting for my sister to get out of the bathroom, which I approximate to be at least half an hour, I came to blog. Haven't been blogging for an amazingly long time. Why? Because school's being a total bitch. Not including the depression I suffered when I have to go back to hall on Sunday nights. But I'm a super duper hyper bitch on Fridays. It's like if you ask me to lend you $50, I will without hesitating, because I'm happy. Haha kidding, don't make use of my forgetfulness. (It's proven that I forgot who I lent my money to.)
So honestly speaking, it's pretty stressed out there in this place in Jurong West called NTU. It's annoyingly far away from my home sweet home. And trust me, the west sucks. Sucks 10000x more than the vacuum cleaner you have. It sucks away your time and your life, which pretty much is almost everything that makes up my life. People there are there for a reason. They're smart, they know how to study efficiently, they have self-discipline, they manage stress real well. Which I can't figure out why I ended up there. But, that's not the point. It's how I am going to pull myself together now. I think I just need some more time to adapt. After all, it's only been a month, 3 more years and 11 months to go.

Hall life was exciting, ok, maybe IS still exciting and happening. But sometimes, it takes up too much of your energy as well. You know you have to graduate with a nice degree, not an extended list of participation events. So I play the disappearing game with my hall people sometimes. I hope they understand. But it's always nice to see them, even if it's just dinner. My hall people are quite an enjoyable bunch. I wouldn't want to change hall, despite the lack of man-made cool air.

@hweehuishia Omg, I keep telling myself I have to blog about this person since the very first letter I typed in this post. It's my beloved BFF. I'm missing her so much. School has some how divided us apart, she has been crashing on her Java course,and mugging alot now, while I'm busy with my Biology catching up. Sometimes, we don't even Whatsapp for a day and I feel sad already. But, we're still strong, we're still strong!! IMY!

@yitingkoh And Butt too! Wonder how she is doing now? I know she has been planning her uni routes, which I am so excited for her. She may end up in the same sch as me! Then that would be totally smashing awesome! If she goes overseas, I will have an excuse to go visit her. Whatever choice she makes, I will support her for sure.

Camps fever

2011-07-28T22:02:00.002+08:00

The last post is about the getaway with Hwee. It's about time I updated this space ya? Haha sch's starting soon. Having a love hate relationship with sch. Fun and friends yes, studying maybe a little reluctant. But where can life leads us to if people like us don't study? Camps fever- SBS Camp was some awesome shit. Met alot of new friends who are even so enthu on FB aft the camp, helping one another with electives and stuff. Next camp in a few days' time, my room mate's MIA for too long lol. Hwee has been missing for too long too. My phone has been too quiet and inactive recently. Only achievement is that my Tiny Tower is realllly high now haha. Confirm win Wq alrdy lol. OK, actually I'm quite excited to move into the hostel haha.

Mini getaway

2011-05-30T21:42:00.002+08:00

Going on a weekend vacation with my best friend definitely makes a weekend seem much better. I promise we will go backpacking in all kinds of places in future. And I will be a much prepared companion (Bringing own camera, and a waterproof one). The most angriest part of the trip is not getting to shop due to the stupid flight timing. Can you believe I didn't buy anything AT ALL even if the running shoes are like 100$ for a real nice pair, and a damn phone pouch is 50 cents. KILL ME PLS. MY FACE BLACK ALL THE WAY MAN. But seeing Hwee got lots of her loots make me happy already. So it's ok. Chill. The funniest part is when you hear my uncle speaking in Chinese-Canto-English all chapalang together in a PHRASE. Phrase, not sentence ok. Cannot tahan, laugh like some crazy nuts. Btw, he does the chicken flapping wings action and say Quack quack. What in the world. He claimed that his teacher taught him chickens quack. Ultimate -.- Most annoying part is Hwee always giving me surprise jumps on me when in bed!!! But she got ready positions, so I always avoid her and her ____ body lands with a thud on the bed. Thank god the bed steady enough.

Photos probably soon!

2011-05-07T10:38:00.002+08:00

Today starts well. With daddy not going to work always feels good, both out or at home. Going for Mother's Day dinner later at Casa Verde. Excited, good ambiance and good food. I have nth to blog about because there is nothing much worrying/ blog worthy enough? But still, life's fine.

- Need to arrange another date with Hwee, BADLY

- Have to keep reminding myself Btt is next month

- Stop drinking too much Ice Milo @ work lol

Everyone is born bisexual

2011-04-18T21:46:00.002+08:00

Ytd night I watched The War Boys in bed. I can only say it's darn good, both sexually (The gay scenes) and the storyline. A bit of brotherhood and the mistakes that some teens can make and when they grow old, they will advise their kids not to repeat the same mistake. It's like there is a moral at the end of the story.

I wish gay movies can be made more open in Sg. Like in cinemas.

Some ppl still cringe and judge when they hear their friends watch gay movies. I'm glad at least my friends don't.

But I still pause the movie when my sister comes into the room haha.

I need a constant supply of gay movies. Anybody?

2011-04-13T12:11:00.002+08:00

Never had such a peaceful afternoon with me surfing the net and listening to my fave tunes...life's good, for now. Been spending more time with my fave ppl and family, because work's out for a week or so. Probably waiting for a phone call for a new job environment, and of course, pestering my father to check the mailbox eveyday to see if there is any letters from the Uni. But so far....no luck yet? :( I'm starting to get a little worried as the days go by...

Today shall be me lazing at home and watch movies day, and updating my music playlist, and checking out tumblr. And of course, kajiaoing Hwee haha. <3

Whirlpool

2011-04-08T14:58:00.001+08:00

Feeling helpless about the overlap of what we young people think and want of our futures and the traditional thinkings that just can't seem to fade away. I will want to be Me, making decisions that are influenced by the modern thinking, I don't care and I believe most people of my age will choose to do the same. But you listen around and mingle with the world, you realize how wrong and stubborn they are. Idk which side is more ethnically correct, but I feel I don't want to be tied down by what is ever so dull, so not....now.
I will have the courage to do things they find it ridiculous or unacceptable. I'll ignore their objections, even if it stabs me badly. I'll just be me and who I wanna be, now and future.

2011-03-22T23:03:00.002+08:00

The house is a dirty bunch of mess. Only I am willing to clean it up at this hour of the night. Fyi Mom is already asleep. What is this. Iron spoiled, can't wear ironed clothes to work and to meet Hwee tmr. What is this 2. Obviously somebody has been using my baby lotion secretly. What is this. What is life seriously. A whole bunch of mess.

2011-03-18T18:29:00.001+08:00

I despise Singapore life. As you grow older and become working adults, you lose your feelings towards the world and the ppl around you.

I see a weak tree supported by wooden poles which are going to fall as well. It's by the road side. If it collapses, it will hit the cars on the road. But I'm thinking of calling the authorities up to do smth. But no, why not I get down the bus and adjust the tree and the poles myself? But no again, I can't do it all by myself. It's too heavy. So I thought how many ppl will actually stop and help me?? They'll probably give me weird stares. They'd prefer to watch.

Today, the Financial Director of my company left. He quitted after two years or so. At 4.45, he sent all of us a Farewell email. At 5, only one person went to wish him all the best. At 6, he left alone, silently.....leaving his door key and all on his desk. What is this? Out of 106 staff in the company, nobody went to wish him luck in his future endeavors.

What has the world became?? No, it's just Singapore.

Singapore mini backpacking trip

2011-02-26T00:50:00.002+08:00

Me and my backpacking pal

This is Bukit Timah Road, but nowhere near Bukit Timah -.-

Pillar and street lamp infront of a line of pubs and an indian restaurant

Our legs are sore and I can't wait to try on my new nail polish. But still, today's an awesome day! I visited Mustafa Centre for the first time! And now we both know that no PLASTIC BAGS are allowed. Stupid idea. Not working, especially if there are many entrances.

AND MUSTAFA HAS EVERYTHING. YES.

Even pregnancy test kit on top of a carton of masking tapes.

Ok Hwee: I regret not buying the antique chest now.

LASELLE was like a really cool place. I saw a girl carrying her laptop and sit at a corner at 11pm and guess what? Totally safe.

Dessert Buffet was okkkkkkkk. (Don't want to humiliate the dessert place anymore.) You know what I mean. Shld have went Four Seasons Hotel instead.

I'm tired now so sum up. I love late night walks with you.

2011-02-24T16:59:00.001+08:00

I am going to create this.

2011-02-23T18:05:00.001+08:00

Work is good today. Got me working till 6.30 and perhaps later. And ignoring Hwee on Whatsapp haha. Sorry friend!

2011-02-22T14:56:00.002+08:00

Today is a mad cow disease day. I have to ring up Indians from India and have been doing that since morning. I am also going bonkers at the speed of their speech and their unique accent. It's barely 3. And I am so so tired. My eyes are closing...... -.-

Heyho

2011-02-21T13:04:00.002+08:00

My top today
Choc cookie to accompany me during work!

Work on Mondays is always the worst. Blogging after lunch. Bak Chor Mee. Nice. So far my fave food here. Back to TortureLand for another 5 hours. Before I head home and finish watching Nick's and Norah's Infinite Playlist. I think Nick's pretty cute. My shoes to be here by Saturday. Seems like a long week ahead. Made a new friend called Wera. Infront of me now. She's an auditor. Heard auditors earn lotsa money $$$? She's Indonesian btw. Quite cool. I got international friends. Not forgetting the Caucasian hot bosses around here too :X Hwee currently on Whatsapp. She's the only person I talk there so often now. I am a loner. I only have one friend. I hope Hwee does too. Haha I love my Sunday ytd. I want to rewind and pause there. Like I said, work makes one depressed. Really. Like you feel in the atmosphere that everyone is being forced to work. The aunties, uncles....everyone. Nobody likes working. Yet. I want to buy LKY Hard Truths to keep Singapore going book. I act politician. Haha

2011-02-20T20:37:00.000+08:00

My Sunday.

2011-02-16T11:42:00.000+08:00

2011-02-11T22:32:00.001+08:00

Strawberry pancakes English breakfast Chocolate fondue
Google image them and tonight you'll dream of them.

2011-02-11T13:54:00.001+08:00

I don't understand why people do certain things. In a friendship, in a relationship, between family members, in their daily lives.
The hardest thing to understand? Not women. It's humans.

2011-02-06T01:13:00.002+08:00

Today ended with a disappointment. I am going to lie in sleep pondering about it all night.

And you don't even know I'm thinking of you the whole night.

I can see she is your obstruction to you being more friendly with me.

You called my name when you needed help.

You said bye in a way only I know what it means.

This friendship does seem a little challenging.

But I'll break that barrier down.

Good night to you.

Blues vs Reds

2011-02-04T13:50:00.001+08:00

Perhaps this long holiday is really helping me with my blues as you can see in my previous post/posts.
Today was fine so far. The smell of joss sticks at the altar, people screaming on the tv, lion dance coming from below....
Just missing out one thing.
The smell of money.
The red packets haven't found me- yet.
But I can't expect much with hometown being at Malaysia. Currency is lousy.
Guess I'm alone today. Waiting for somebody to talk to me again haha.
Happy Cny 2011 all!
Cheers....

2011-02-01T22:37:00.001+08:00

Life ain't improving. Today I came home to a nagging machine, comparing me and another specimen in the household. I talk this way all along and she accused me of throwing a tantrum. I put my feet on the sofa like always and she shouted at me.
Then later at night, she praised my new bed sheets.
The machine went haywire.
I don't need a machine like this.
All I need is some excitement in my life to cheer me up. Perhaps some good company or a new discovery I made myself.
Or a long walk back home, looking at stuff around me.
Or sit down with a coffee and music, people watching at a busy mall.
Basically, everything except what I'm going through now will be fine.
I sound like I'm experiencing Great Depression. But I'm not.
I just need a life booster.
Everyone needs it once in a while.

2011-01-31T14:39:00.002+08:00

Blogging from work now. All of a sudden my body feels so tired as if it has went through a whole week.

I feel empty now. Like I haven't been doing anything meaningful recently. I haven't accomplished something in a long time.

I feel like my connections to my friends are cut. Even though I'm still talking to them, it isn't as heart to heart anymore. Something is missing, just like how Chemical X has to be added into Powerpuff Girls solution. My Chemical X is missing.

If life continues like this, me staring at the computer from 9am almost everyday, I am going to die. When March 21st comes, I say Bye Bye to this job. And venture off to redeem the new me.

The me- Where I achieved something once in a while to know I am still useful, to keep me going.
Money- making plan still in progress.

I cannot stay put in a place for long. I belong to the group of people in the world who leave footsteps behind on the sand, only to be washed away by the waves soon. Not people who plant a tree there.

2011-01-30T21:01:00.002+08:00

My life hasn't been really eventful nor exciting these days. Except that every night I complain that I am really worn out. Without fail, even on weekends. Probably because I try to get hold of every minute on weekends to have some personal time, or to do things I cannot do on workdays. So my day starts off at 7am, with or without work. Yes I'm tired but I'm loving life like this somehow. Like it feels like a reward to myself after a week of work.

Sad to say, tmr is Monday again. You know what I'm thinking right? Cny is a few days away, am looking forward to the long four day holiday and perhaps the gatherings and tv shows on air. But then I haven't been seeing my favourite people recently. I mean yes last Friday with P and A is fine, but I feel like it's better to go out one on one, you know, just you and me. And I've been missing Hwee too. I hope we all don't die down alright.

2011-01-26T14:17:00.002+08:00

I wish I have a big house so I can invite my friends and all for every single birthday I have. Or for CNY, Xmas, Valentines' Singles Party, or whatever. Then as and when I like it, I can have sleepover parties with the girls. Or simply for a lunch party. We can do BBQ, or a poolside party. Or just simply ask a few of my friends to watch a great movie tgther.

Life.....

2011-01-25T15:14:00.001+08:00

Work is damn boring today. And my body is aching. So I googled search Massage Parlours in Tampines. So I'm gg to check them out soon. I seriously need one. Badly. And many other stuff...

2011-01-18T11:24:00.000+08:00

What's up dude? Tmr I'm gonna be meeting up Hwee. Yayers!

Best friends forever

2011-01-13T09:52:00.004+08:00

True friends are hard to come by. Yet I'm lucky to not have one, but three.

And I met one of them ytd night for a dinner date!

@Hwee Why we never take photos? Haha

It all started with me waiting for the noob Hwee for a long time at the Mrt platform. She never changes her bad habit of being late tsk tsk. Then, when she reached City Hall, she claimed she has already searched the whole place two freaking rounds and yet still couldn't spot me. So, being a not so knowlegable citizen about the Mrt, I thought I was so hard to spot, like I'm transparent or smth lol..................and it ended up that she was upstairs and I'm downstairs. We're both at different platforms, with trains heading different directions. Officially, this became a Noobs Unite kind of meet up.

So, me still blaming her for not telling me earlier that are actually two platforms, and she blaming me that she didn't know I came from the other direction, we gayed our way to Secret Recipe to get her sister's birthday cake. Now the gayer part of the night arrived. This guy working there has a very creative mind and interesting taste for smiley faces. When asked for a smiley face to be written on the cake, first he drew ^^, which is fine because both of us thought he will stop. But no! Next, he added a smile below. Okay, still not so bad......then, he added two eyes underneath those "eyebrows"! Yes, basically, me and Hwee were both experiencing a mixture of !!!! and "I'm gonna burst out laughing" kind of feelings. Haha epic!

HAHAHHAHHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAH the guy needs to attend a workshop on drawing smiley faces.

We gayly travelled to Cafe Cartel aft that. Took some time to order what we want. While Hwee busy checking out the 50% after 9pm desserts and coffee -.- So, our St Louis Pork Ribs and Dory Fish Pasta came. With Sea Breeze and mushroom soup of the day. She dumped two of her ribs to me and I swear they looked untouched at the end of the day because Idk how to eat ribs ah lol. Meanwhile, she gave me a bad summary of Desperate Housewives from Season 1 to Season 7. And she only rmbs Blair in Gossip Girl :( We had Choc Cheesecake for dessert and we went to collect the cake.

Then the cake had its first trip to a public toilet. Nobody except my noob friend will bring a cake into a toilet. And we have to take turns looking after the cake.

The day ended with me forgetting to redeem my water bottle back from Miss Tay's LV bag haha.

What a good night. Wink wink.

2011-01-10T13:52:00.001+08:00

The fact that my sister is getting back her O levels results totally freaks me out.

For some reason, I have to be the last one among the three of us (Me sis & bro) to get results.

Alot of "What if"s are floating in my head right now.......

2011-01-09T19:05:00.001+08:00

Had abit too much junk food to eat today. Throat still can taste the sweetness. Spamming water.

Feel like talking online now but then nobody is there online.

Didn't know TOMS has this awesome design!

2011-01-08T19:40:00.000+08:00

I love her!

Alyson Michalka

2011-01-08T19:33:00.003+08:00

Felt great after a run. Perfect weather. Perfect Saturday. Went market shopping with Mom this morning. Back with some personal time. Watched You Again. Now it's night time. Time for Brian and Justin haha. Loving today.

2011-01-05T23:27:00.002+08:00

Recently had no time for Tumblr. Mom's abit ill. Housework chores all on my shoulder now. I just washed the dishes, packed my table, cleaned it, swept the floor and hung the clothes. I am going to be a superwoman very soon. Tmr has to wake up @ 7am and meet P for Jap dinner haha. Work has been getting better. Busier and busier. I need not really pretend to be busy and wait for time to pass as much as before now. Hurray! And another hurray? Bro and sis have not discovered the cookies I bought yet. So, they're all mine, for the time being. Teehee

2011-01-03T13:49:00.002+08:00

Today I discovered some hidden treasures!

http://immortalcollection.com/

2011-01-02T21:52:00.003+08:00

Have been staying @ home more and more often now. Soon, I'll accumulate dust and becomes a frog in the deep deep well. Not to mention work is starting on Tues. I still thought life will be like heaven after A levels end. Looks like life isn't so easy after all...

But still, nevertheless, NastyGirl to always cheer me up. Eye feast.

31st Dec

2010-12-31T10:44:00.002+08:00

Abit of Tumblr before I hopped over to Hwee's for the slumber tonight, counting down this 2010 year we had, witnessing the clock strike 12 for the very first day of 2011!

And a post dedicated to year 2010, featuring all the people whom I care most right here.

Hwee,

what else can I say about you? I'm seriously sticking with you all my life haha. You have been such a supportive friend, especially when A levels drowned us in sorrow and frustrations. Without you, I don't think I'll be able to survive A levels so positively! There's just too much for me to say to you, how much I love you, how long we've come, how unexpected to think that you are such a close friend of mine now haha. Let's just continue our lovely memories as we grow older alright? Never ever disappear from my life. Promise? (L) 2011: One more year added to our long lasting friendship, my dear friend! :D

Butty,

I'm so sorry I couldn't attend your performances! Thinking about it, I haven't even attended one of them haha. But you're doing well, aren't you? As long as you remember me, my presence, me always supporting you, then our friendship will be just as strong as now. I haven't met up with you for quite some time!! You have to study hard and get GPA like 4.0 (That's the highest, right?) Haha, miss you.....I promise there will be a performance I'll be able to attend in future. Have a wonderful 2011 ahead!! (When is our sleepover? Haha) Love you xoxo!

Pearlie,

Oh dear, how you ever think that I have forgotten you just because I don't see you in school anymore! You miss me kajiau-ing you right! I knew it haha. You cannot disappear from my life too! Because I told you secrets about me! Haha everyone's busy nowadays, I prefer the life back in school rather than now, probably because there's you around. Really. This sounds very secondary school, but Friends Forever ok? Love ya! :)

2010-12-30T19:17:00.002+08:00

I swear I saw this on Marthi in Hellcats. Loving it!

I love quirky necklaces! Tell me where to find them in Singapore!

2010-12-30T19:11:00.001+08:00

I know I've always been having odd taste. Like men's bracelets and colours like wine and olive green.

2010-12-29T14:07:00.001+08:00

Fourth day down with my chicken pox. But company says I can go back next week. Which is great.

Because this means I can go to the slumber partaye on Fridayyyyyyyyyy. Hell yeah baby!

2010-12-22T21:41:00.002+08:00

Second day of work today. There were sleepy times, pretending to look busy times and can't wait for the clock to strike 6pm always. But then I think it's improving? As in I seem to get busier everyday. And it's only the second day. Haha, miss school days though.

2010-12-18T21:21:00.000+08:00

I totally agree with Pearlie's blog post. Like I said, smth is seriously wrong with all the mothers now. No joke. She nagged at me and my siblings to do housework for her every single day without fail. It's like knowing that, you don't even want to get out of bed in the morning, but then again, if you don't wake up, her voice comes yelling her head off again. Every smallest thing, she finds a reason to nag at us. Without fail, I tell you. And I rmbed the same old thing happened last year, last last year, last last last year, the same time this year. What is wrong, seriously? I need an answer to this urgently.

Her behaviour just only makes me want to be alone more than ever. Like I'd leave this house when I grow up someday, or probably stay in the university hostel when school starts. Now the worse part? My dad is becoming like her. Has this got to do with aging or menopause? I loved Dad more last time when he used to be cool and calm. He won't even give a damn when Mom is arguing with him. He will probably say something like "Hey, wanna go swimming?" while Mom is yelling. I like that Dad. I hope Dad comes back.

2010-12-17T20:30:00.001+08:00

I so want to go traveling my whole life....

2010-12-16T14:03:00.001+08:00

Back from Taiwan. Missing Hwee alot. It's good that we're both back now haha. Taiwan is cold and fun I think. I wouldn't want to return to Singapore if I have a choice. Except that the restaurant food there sucks. Too oily, servings too big, makes me wanna puke. My record for dinner: 4 prawns, a bowl of rice and a bowl of soup. But the night markets are awesome much!!

2010-12-04T20:46:00.001+08:00

I found somebody with the same nickname I had today.

Yenny.

2010-12-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

First day and I'm missing Hwee wts?

Being a better person

2010-12-02T21:26:00.003+08:00

Feet's sore, and blisters too. Too much walking. Leg muscles.

But it's good. Missing Hwee. She's flying off tmr morning and ignoring me for the whole day.

All my friends officially ended A levels today. Am very happy. Everybody is free now.

The world just became better.

Went out with the guys and P. Good and bad day. At least they found their shirts. But still, the guys no stamina to shop till they find the shoes. Oh well. They need more practice haha.

Seriously, am not one bit excited for the TW trip, yet. But am looking forward to the cold weather. Get to wear thick layers. Something I like. And the food there too.

Then, come back to Spore on the 14th and sleepover at Hwee's, Dempsey Hill, Heaven Loft, Buffets, sign up for driving.

Till then.

To do: Sky diving, take a hot air balloon, parachuting, wakeboarding

!! Backpacking !!

To you, my dear friend

2010-11-29T20:26:00.002+08:00

Huishia,

was surprised when I saw the little section you dedicated to me on your blog. Didn't expect you to be so mushy and emotional haha. But it's good, it's nice, I feel grateful and happy to have you around me these torturous two years too. Cause I'm quite sure I wouldn't be able to persevere and come all this way without you. I'm serious. Maybe I never tell you this, but I always tell my friend Pearlie that I cannot wait to go tuition every weekend. She will say I'm a geek, I'm a nerd, cause who will like to go tuition?! But then I told her cause there's my friends there, you, Karen, Wanting. And I also always wished on Mondays that school will be as fun as tuition like in the weekends haha. I can say you are mostly my pillar of strength for these 2 years. I can disturb you as and when I like, kik you anytime so I talk to you everyday, pester you to stay up late with me to keep me awake. And you are the only friend whom I communicate not in words when texting, but plainly just Emoji emoticons haha. Not bad, we learn how to read each other's minds somehow. Haha so yes, we pulled through the difficult A levels already and you know what? I'm sticking to you, as tight as Uhu superglue, I'm never letting you go. I'll always be how I am to you during this stretch of time and you will be the same Huishia you are to me too. Now, I'm really starting to think we met in our last lives and made a pinky promise to meet again this life, and I know we have already made the same promise this life, our next lives will not be missing each other. I love you!

Xoxo

2010-11-23T20:34:00.002+08:00

Now that A levels are going to be over soon,

I just want to spend the rest of my lives with people I like

and doing things I like.

2010-11-17T13:59:00.001+08:00

I thought this will be very applicable to my life now haha.

Peaches

2010-11-16T21:18:00.002+08:00

Hello all. This space has been such a bore. I yearn for a new layout here. Something brighter. More cheerful. Yes, it will be, starting 29th onwards. Where my real life begins after freaking 18 years of education..........................................................................................................................................................

There are times I wanted to give up, just want to dump everything else aside and run away. Even taking a breather is hard. I never felt so bad when I take exams before. This has got to be the worst and last part of my life in which I'm going through all this shit. This just has to be.

I feel sad when I see my friends depressed after papers. I don't want to see people around me depressed. Nobody likes to see people they care about feel down. I hope all of them are well especially Pearlie, Hwee, Manda, Jerm, the whole of S19. I hope everyone is the world is okay.

It scares me, kept me thinking what the world is becoming into. Innocent slashings. Suicides. I feel scared to even leave the house sometimes when I think about it. Too bad, this is what the world is becoming. Good or not, we're all in it. Or else, where can we go?

Peaches by New Heights on repeat mode. I love this song now.

So, hang on, keep that thread you're holding hanging tight, it's all going to end soon. Remember, when you give up, your friends don't feel any better either. Do it, even if it's just for your friends.

If you are hanging on only by a thread, just like me...

2010-11-13T21:14:00.000+08:00

The dream of my life

2010-10-31T19:47:00.003+08:00

Currently, and always will,

one of the dreams I always had,

is to bring my whole family

and migrate to ______ (A quiet town with farms and dandelions and tractors),

and shave botak there,

wear different caps everyday,

and a scarf round my neck,

and checkered tops,

with high black military boots,

having a lazing relaxed peaceful life.

The house we live in,

will be built by me,

and only me.

It's gonna be a white washboard shed,

as large as two football fields,

single level,

and inside filled with leather sofas,

and high bar tops.

Add a balcony,

add a hammock in the balcony,

and add a table beside the hammock,

to sip warm bitter chocolate.

(Dream to be continued.........)

2010-10-26T19:20:00.001+08:00

Been reading blogs and all of them sounds optimistic about A lvls ending.

I got influenced and very excited about A lvls ending and never to be seen again!

Press on peeps, good days are nearing.....good days are nearing.

Xoxo

2010-10-24T09:56:00.001+08:00

2010-10-19T22:28:00.002+08:00

Dearest 09S19,

Friday is the official day we will be going our separate ways because we are going to graduate from college. Then we become hermits for two weeks or so before we meet in school again for the start of the horrifying Big A's. It is indeed a bad start to us meeting after two weeks. The tension, nervousness, anxiety, worry all sets in all the same time. But what to do? We've pulled it through for almost two years already, we are going to end it nicely done right? I will really miss every single one of you, even the guys. This is where life sucks, afraid that I will lose contact with you all and perhaps to the extent of not waving to each other even when we see each other on the streets. Whoever you are, wherever you may be, tell me how you guys are doing in the future at some point of time ok!

Btw, I can't find my Duckie post its. I'll try digging for a few more days. Deadline: Friday.

Today has been spent missing Butt alot. Why can't she live just next door?

HAHAHAH

2010-10-16T21:30:00.001+08:00

2010-10-09T13:40:00.001+08:00

Cute pic of GG haha.

No talk work

2010-10-06T23:10:00.001+08:00

I'm totally digging her skull scarf!!!!

2010-09-28T22:28:00.001+08:00

"6weeks left including this one, we can do this. I know we can! Hold my hand and we help each other up to reach what we have been awaiting for since 2 years ago (two purple g a y hearts)" -10:26PM 28 Sept

I LOVE U HWEE U NVR FAIL TO PICK ME UP JUST WHEN I'M ABT TO FALL.

IM NVR LETTING U GO-EVER!

September the nineteenth

2010-09-19T20:14:00.004+08:00

Today is 09S19's day.

Wonder what it will be like on this very same day next year?

We should be starting uni around this time soon.

I hope every single soul that belongs to 09S19 will go to uni and do well for A levels.

Then we can see each other in NUS/NTU!!

Sometimes, my other friends complained to me about the conflicts and bitches' cold wars they have in their class. And how their classes are always divided into very clear cliques. And that they feel awkward hanging out with their classmates.

But, look at us, S19, we are more than just classmates, more than friends, we've only met two years back, starting shy and all, but now, it's as if we've met forever. We know the best and worse side of every person in S19. Each of us distinguished with our own personal attitude, but still we are able to click well, as perfect fitting as keys into padlocks.

Just rmb, only one particular key is able to fit into one padlock. Just like the joy, laughter, fun and time spent with S19. It is one of a kind.

I wish S19 remains forever!

2010-09-18T13:00:00.001+08:00

Tell me where to get this.

2010-09-16T22:14:00.001+08:00

Good days are nearing.

In luck

2010-09-12T00:52:00.003+08:00

I spotted the beautiful crescent moon and its friend the brightest star today. Butty told me it's Venus. I think Crescent and Venus are still having fun tghter now. While I'm almost falling asleep and so sick of economics. Yes, yikornnamix.

Btw I like to be in my room when the fan isn't on, the lights aren't on, just the table lamp. Yellow light. Enough to light up my space.

Was telling Mom about my post A levels plans. She ignored me. Like as if she already know all about my plans.

Tmr is Mom's birthday. We are going to get her a $80 birthday cake. She invited me to pedicure with her. Should I? Tmr is the day before Yikornnamix paper. Hmmm....

Lazy afternoons

2010-09-09T13:24:00.002+08:00

There are days when I feel sleepy all day long. I just sleep non stop. Today is one of those days.

2010-09-08T19:12:00.002+08:00

Been on little studying trips. Some good, some no? Tmr is Thurs, I'm in the process of freaking out. The middle of the week always passes the fastest. Why is that so?

But nevertheless, I always felt relieved whenever I meet up with Jocelyn. Perhaps she has that after A levels experience aura she gives out. She's such a lucky young woman!! She drives herself to uni now. Like omg, I want that young and free uni life so badly!! Who doesn't? Haha

Alright, so a quick lil update in this space. And moving on to more crazy plans!!

I heart Hwee btw. We communicate through symbols and emoticons. And the best part? She understands them. Heartxoxoxoxox luh!!! Hehe

2010-09-07T08:34:00.001+08:00

Tuesday. I don't wish to realize that it's Friday alrdy when I blink my eye the next minute. Time has been a good girl and having said that, she has to remain as one, most preferably forever. Brewed my routine morning soy milk drink and warming myself under the table lamp, and keeping in mind to catch Jamie Oliver at 1130 later. Has life been ever so peaceful? Haha

The first movie that made me cried

2010-08-31T22:21:00.002+08:00

Leap years

And a beard does change how a person looks!

So good looking!

Memories

2010-08-27T09:48:00.001+08:00

I was doing chem halfway and I suddenly think of hwee then it links me back to the times when me hwee qian pearline Karen will all go to orchard taka and shop for Xmas presents for our families.
And then we will happen to walk past the toys section and ended up staying there for almost an hour.
I really miss those times, it's like as if as long as the five of us are tgther, we won't have to bother abt what other ppl ard us think of us.we can talk very loud or laugh like monsters but we know it's okay to behave like tt.
People say some friends are meant to be kept, while some are not.
This bunch of people are the ones who not only shld be meant to kept, but also locked in my heart forever, to eternity.

2010-08-25T19:22:00.001+08:00

2010-08-21T11:58:00.002+08:00

i did smth very crazy ytd. but agn maybe some ppl will think its not. if i say it out here, u guys will rlly call me crazy girl so im not gg to tell anything. hehe

every sat shld be like today i woke up at 11, the latest ever since jc life starts.

and i had headaches almost everyday.

am excited to go tuition later.

2010-08-15T12:47:00.002+08:00

ytd was a good day.

today is also going to be a even better day. i just know.

2010-08-13T20:41:00.003+08:00

im so worn out by sch and the heavy workload.

when im home i only feel like sleeping.

time to go out and study.

alone.

or maybe with a person or two.

sat and sun are coming. nightmare.

i dont rlly like school now.

i hope all my hard work pays off.

i brought my shoe bag to sch everytime too many times and me and pearlie always end up not running because either rain or i damn lazy lol.

i wanna take a break for a day, perhaps on a weekend. to not do any work at all for that day. but i think its impossible.

and i want to see you more winks.

i found something to keep me going.

today is shit day btw. why gen shiqi anna kat pon sch never jio me?

i plan not to sleep tonight. and do work like mad cow. and watch white collar like mad dog.

i hope i dont die one day because of work. its not worth it.

2010-08-10T21:17:00.002+08:00

internet is the worse invention on earth, just for this min. nth is loading. this sucks.

i think i cannot be an "alone" person. i will find ways to kajiao or annoy ppl or at least talk nonsense with other ppl at least once per day lol. if i lose interaction with my friends, i feel as if im dead.

i think im a person who cannot do her tasks evenly too. first day maybe i will chiong all the tasks. then the other days i will get bored lol. maybe from growing up, i got this mindset of xian ku hou tian.

hse is quiet again. parents went out agn. forever i feel like my family is always not tgther. even if it is, it is only for a short while, or worse, parents fight like ytd night. i dont need this kinda thing now you know, when my a levels is coming. sometimes idk what my parents are thinking. they volunteer to put more burdens on their own shoulders. why cant they just be contented with what we own now and then sit back and spend more family time with me bro and sis?

now i know, money does make the world go round. in a bad way.

2010-08-06T23:18:00.001+08:00

I dread friday nights. I always hv this gd for nothing feeling, like i shld be doing smth constructive but thn my mind tells me nt to. So i always end up slacking which is nt quite a bad thing actually. But i just hate this feeling urghhhh

Wednesday

2010-08-06T23:17:00.001+08:00

Am so tired now. Am gg to watch my fave animal show at 10 later.

I ate my fastest yong tau foo today in sch 15 mins? Eat until i feel abit like vomitting actually lol. Dont feel like eating canteen food, sucks. Lunchboxes maybe?
Oh and i had almond jelly, one of my fave foods.

Tmr gg to run and inception with P. And must remind her so many things aiyo lol.

Been missing the usual ppl. Butt and hwee. But im happy cos i get to see hwee for extra two hours per wk now hooray!

if i were a boy

2010-07-31T22:08:00.001+08:00

all is well, so far.

2010-07-29T22:49:00.002+08:00

been feeling pretty gd with my own studying lately. hv to maintain it man. and celebrate aft prelims and a's. i invite everybody to my hse aft a's set haha. and party. and dress nice nice for prom. meanwhile, focus on studies, first.

school has been quite love for me. feeling pretty gd abt it. : >

but then agn, tmr is econs day. band 3 in econs. not a thing to be happy abt.

but but then agn, weekend is coming= short break, tuition, see beloved friends, of cos mug more duh.

p/s: i love to study teehee. really.

2010-07-27T21:35:00.003+08:00

the ir groupings and days only make me feel bad, thinking why i underachieve. but still, learning how to ignore it and puts it in a way tt it only makes me better and get back the grades i lost. now the thing im most afraid of is tt i STILL do not meet the standard aft all this. help.

So freaking delicious

2010-07-25T09:48:00.001+08:00

2010-07-23T14:26:00.001+08:00

seriously am i the only person who is home so early on a friday aft sch day? none of the tpjc ppl on my msn contact list is online :O haha but still im enjoying my friday who cares? haha

2010-07-20T18:24:00.002+08:00

tpjc just countdown the days to prelims and a lvls for us this morn wtf must they do that? but still gd cos i feel the urgency now. night study starting soon. hope im not too affected by it. gonna make gd use of the time there. what did i do wrong in the past to deserve this? maybe god is testing my perserverence level to judge if i can make it this year end. i want to tell him i can.

2010-07-18T16:40:00.002+08:00

this is my second post for the day just because this sunday is too boring for me. why shld parents leave their kids alone at home on a rainy day somemore? shldnt they bring them out to play?

btw jessica alba is ze bomb!

2010-07-18T10:03:00.003+08:00

am awake at 3 this morning, planned to get up and get some things done. but somehow i procastinate so much i dragged till 8 to get out of bed. wtf i know right. so in betwn i keep waking up and falling back to slp and it just keeps repeating....

but oh well i got the whole day to myself today since parents are out. its gonna be a boring sunday.

met a new uncle at the photocopy shop ytd aft tuition. i wish he was my grandpa or smth. he is so knowledgeable!!

had fun with kpc excluding pea ytd at cc bazaar. still waiting for hwee to upload the photos from her cam althought it aint alot. we shld hv more kpc outings seriously. kpc outweighs everything.

i need new songs. gen gen send me!

2010-07-16T21:10:00.002+08:00

sometimes suffering from a great fall makes one stronger. sometimes one takes two steps back so that one can move three steps forward. its not the end of the world when something bad happens, even if its so bad u wanna cry and give up so much. but then, rmb, everything happens for a reason. when u put in real hard work, rewards are bound to come. its no point comparing mini small rewards and getting all battered with scars, just continue to work hard, and wait, the bigger and better reward u always wanted much more than anything else will appear in front of your eyes. it will be like a dream come true.

talking to P today rlly warms my heart. i seldom have friends who actually understand how i rlly feel and better, willing to spend time to console me. not like some others who give me quite rlly useless suggestions. friends like you are worth keeping and when i achieve something, i will definitely celebrate with you. like i said, friends are divided into alot of different levels. and this incident only further proves me correct. i love you P!

2010-07-15T19:56:00.003+08:00

these few days are hard to get by. with confirmed feelings that im getting into night study. and also still getting over the lousy grades i had. but actually, thinking abt it, they're not the real a lvls. i still hv time. i wish hard tt im able to reach my goal at the end of this yr.

meanwhile, friends can be very heartwarming but at the same time, dreadful. i am grateful for those who cheer me on and always help me no matter what. i am extremely disgusted by those who not only not help me when seeing me in this state but also those who didnt spare a thought for my feelings. fancy u bringing up sensitive issues in front of my face, knowing that im hurt and at the same time talking like as if u are god. dont ask me who, im not gonna say. no point.

so im very glad i still have plenty of friends with me supporting me. like dear butt, hwee and many more. i am so thankful u guys appear in my life. the word love is an underestimate for describing you all.

touching

2010-07-13T22:42:00.001+08:00

2010-07-13T17:47:00.003+08:00

idk whether to be happy or sad abt this but when sch ends early, i go home i slp. i. dont. want. to. sleep. its like this thing i cant control. even if i play music and keep myself occupied, i will tend to doze off sooner or later. maybe i shld blame the weather. it is way too good. windy and all. and quiet. perhaps i shldnt go home so early from tmr onwards. i feel like studying aft sch tmr and then go for a swim before i head home. anybody?

been addicted to futureshorts (search youtube) recently. they have rlly brilliant short meaningful films. nth too long but then it holds alot of meanings. i like them.

feels like time is giving me up. in the past, time runs alongside with me. i never have to worry abt insufficient time to do all the things i want. now, time competes with me. did the 24 hours just miraculously shrink by itself or smth?

i dont like it when i try to talk to somebody and then that person notices the person beside me, instead of me. its like i can just walk off and that person will still not even glance at me. wtf. i nvr felt so ostracized before. if this is what happens, i rather not talk to the person ever again. but then once agn, i cant. i need that person for something else which is very so impt to me now. so shld i just pretend nth has happened and think long term or shld i just dump that person aside and be rlly by myself and try to achieve what i want? i dont like to pretend u know. its hypocritical.

sometimes i wish i have wings so that i can fly to anywhere i like and the best part? i dont have to feel rooted to one particular place. i like the touch and go feeling where u somehow leave ur scent behind but not ur footprints. the scent will disappear aft awhile but footprints leave a mark. i feel like i have more freedom this way, like im in control of my own whereabouts. and at the same time, prevent myself from being hurt.

2010-07-12T23:44:00.002+08:00

I like squuezeable stuff

2010-07-12T16:39:00.001+08:00

Im lying in bed now feeling extremely slpy and abt to fall aslp.life's so gd like this.aft getting into jc i hardly have a peaceful nap time.
Suddenly i recalled what i used to do during this time when i was like still in pri sch.i would hv been playing 'pretend to be stallkeepers' with my siblings.we would dig out every little thing likr barbie dolls the cooking ingredients from thr cooking set, toy cars,story bks and thn display thm on our bed and we sit among all these stuff and start pretending we hv lotsa customers.but actually we just stone thr and buy each others stuff with monopoly money lol. Thinking bk,i think its a waste of time lol.will the things i do now look stupid in the future?

2010-07-11T23:23:00.003+08:00

today's fat picnic is awesome i tell u. we shld do this once in a while haha with pearlie coming nxt time of cos. (wink wink @pearliesum) anw tonight's the wc finals! now im getting into the wc fever!! haha my eyes are like forming into slits. im worn out but i dont wanna surrender to bedtime. so what if its bedtime? doesnt mean i hv to slp right haha.

now i just wish i have a constant phone buddy who rings me up every single night and tell me abt his/her day till both of us fall aslp haha. and i wish the world will be happier tmr too. love.

Despicable me

2010-07-09T17:43:00.002+08:00

The movie is awesome i get excited and hyper whenever i see agnes haha. so cute ttm! its the only cartoonish movie im so willing to watch because it has a diff sense of humour. its humour is by the actions they make, not by their words. actions do speak more than words aft all. sunday is our fat picnic and i still hv no idea how to travel there. but then we kinda have a dresscode- long skirts haha. finally the weekend is here. abit of playtime finally.

Eiffel

2010-07-07T17:18:00.002+08:00

so today i went home aft a very filling set of pan fried fish in sch with ginapau and decided to make hwee's card. im planning to give it to her on sat and think she is so gg to see this post and it wont be a surprise anymore but oh well, sooner or later she will see it right? eiffel towers are her fave things and so i drew them myself.i think it looks cool in real life.haha feels gd to put in effort to do smth for the one u love :) anyway tmr is thurs, which means PE!!! hooray!!! i havent had pe fun for soooo long omgg!! so looking forward to sch tmr, but then we're getting back our chem papers wts? i barely pass my mcq i wanna give up but i know i cant. i cant. gotta hang on!!!

2010-07-06T15:09:00.001+08:00

I'm getting worried. Why my results so screwed up now? If this is how I go for A's, I'm gonna be a big big loser, in both studies and in life generally. I need a secret hiding place.

my name is cool cucumber

2010-06-29T17:44:00.003+08:00

check out my cutesy tumblr bkgrd dudes haha. half the exams over. two more papers to go. & chem is tmr!! pls, let me be cool cucumber like today pls!!! i cannot wait to go out on fri with pau and kexintan. and i cant wait to go tuition on sat to see all my tuition mates. im turning into a happier person. i love my life now haha. ray seen said she is weird which i agree. then she said another word to replace weird is unique which i agree too. then she said singapore is weird cause uniquely singapore -.- taking bus 34 with her ytd and today, two days in a row, is not very enjoyable huh haha. till thn, gd luck folks for the remaining papers! LUV!

2010-06-23T23:10:00.002+08:00

Another pair of shoes added to my collection. Sweet!

2010-06-19T20:00:00.002+08:00

Foul mood. Super worn out. Need to sleep asap. And wake up and do some midnight studying. Going to skip dinner. Heck cares. Throbbing headache. I don't wanna go Msia tmr pls. Do I have a choice? Currently, I hate me, myself and I. And all the things around me now. Rain= good time to slp. Bye.

2010-06-17T17:17:00.002+08:00

Chanel shoes are awesome, aren't they!?!?! O.O (I so wanna learn how to walk in heels now ): )

Kexin said they're awesome too haha.

Today I was late agn while meeting Kx for our date. I think I'm jinxed with the airport, I always turn up late when I'm meeting ppl there.

Tmr is the overnight camp haha. Hope we hv fun as well as make it productive huh @kexintan @ginapau

On the way home just now, I saw some firemen putting mattresses below a block. I think smth caught fire.

@kexintan I can't wait for nxt wk, last shopping date ever I think before sch starts. Dreading itttttt. Btw @kexintan shld just tell me on or off, dont standby mode pls lol.

Off to buy my 1$ foolscap stacks and tuition tonight.

2010-06-15T12:08:00.002+08:00

I wanna buy ripped jeans, harem pants, the black strappy sandals, bust tops.

And get a tattoo like this

2010-06-15T10:14:00.002+08:00

Ello, how is everyone during this boring, brain energy sucking holidays, where kids like us can't really play except with books. Currently starved, lazy to make my own breakfast, while Mom is on the phone so I just gotta wait. Morning's weather is awesome, but got woken up feeling a little cold. My table lamp is emitting its yellow bright light, looking pretty beautiful. Hope the rest of the day will remain this way. GSS season now, and I've only went on two shopping trips, its not enough, come on haha. Perhaps nxt week? Butt better make time for it haha. Alrighty, I alrdy feel like slping now -.-

2010-06-12T22:54:00.001+08:00